The Perceived Nature Of Relationships Versus The Actual Nature Of Relationships

The Precieved Nature Of Relationships Versus The Actual Nature Of Relationships

It has been the topic of discussion recently about the value of men versus the value of women intrinsically speaking. And , I feel the need to weigh in on this topic with my own observations.

I think the problem here is that the question has not been framed properly. The common discussion seems to revolve around sex and the ability to pull partners. As such, the argument can be made its easier for women to have sex than men.

However, this argument aside, let’s delve into the actual topic of pull from a man’s perspective, i.e., mine. I am 59 years old, and a good amount of my lifetime was before the advent of social media and computers. As such, one question is what constituted the ability to pull in my younger years versus my ability to pull as an older man.

In a man’s younger years before the internet, the classic skill set was needed. For example, the ability to be outgoing. This means to not be shy and the ability to dwell in the masculine. To have no fear to approach women, to convey your desires, and hold eye contact. Versus, being shy, introverted, and awkward in manner or speech. Those aspects have always been red flags to women.

Further, though, they don’t know why women are drawn to (bad boys). But, this is actually a primal desire, and it revolves around the perception these type of men are tough and have the ability to protect them.

That is the actual reptile brain pull for those types of men. And the perception that nice guys or beta male simps are not capable of protecting a woman, therefore disqualifying them as potential sexual partners or mates.

The next quality women are being told is desirable is big penises. And they will initially pursue this trait. However, after a while, the majority not all admit that it is uncomfortable to have sex with such huge genitalia and will then seek out average men for life partners.

The third trait that has been propagated is men who are successful. More often than not, when asked women state, they are looking for men with 6 figure salaries because they crave stability and believe that this trait will provide that stability they seek.

Whereas their mother’s version of this was a man with a steady job. And a future to move up in whatever career they were embarking on and could provide for not only the woman but also their future offspring.

Though things have changed in the sense of technology. What hasn’t changed is the propensity for women to seek out men who are good protectors, providers and men who can provide for their sexual needs which over time they realize is not all about the genitalia, but actually has to do with love, caring and experience.

Now, let’s discuss perception. Younger men are seen as lacking in many of the above traits, not all but enough that it disqualifies them for long-term partners. They are seen by most women as immature. And are only good for a sexual hookup and nothing more.

I have spoken to numerous women, who have conveyed the same or similar stories that when they attempted actual relationships with these men in their 20s, and early 30s what occurs is the men abuse them physically or mentally.

They often steal their money and end up cheating on them with their best friends. There are none of the traits that would sustain a lasting relationship. This due to the men’s immaturity and lack of a strong male figure in their lives to teach them the correct morals required for a lasting relationship.

I digressed from my original premise to lay out a quick analysis of relationships before and after the advent of the internet and their obvious effects on the men/women dynamic. Now that we have delved into some basic facts. Let me share my perspective on pull, attraction, and the realities I have experienced as an older man.

First, the starting premise is perspective. What is it I desire now versus when I was a young man. The two desires for a companion are wildly different. The me of my youth was driven by unbridled hormones.

I desired sex constantly, and as such, my goal was to hookup with as many women as possible to fulfill that need. It was an all-encompassing desire.

I was incapable of actually understanding fidelity because I was being controlled by my bodily functions. And, as such, was constantly being driven by that motivation. I suspect young women are being driven by similar desires.

The difference is that I have never been a 10. I was a decent looking guy and never had a real problem finding a woman for sex if there were women available. However, the pool of potential sex partners was not nearly what they are in the digital age.

Further, it took time to develop confidence and the ability to be outgoing enough to approach women I didn’t know to initiate a hookup or relationship. So, as such, most of the time, I was lacking on sex partners. Which means my bodycount was much less than men and women of this era.

However, the goal then was to get a steady girlfriend to take care of my bodily needs. And to hold on to that woman. Oh, if the opportunity presented itself for an odd encounter, it was always pursued. However, believe it or not, the actual desire was to keep a girlfriend at the end of the day rather than constant promiscuity.

Was I able to pull any sexual partner I wanted in my youth? The answer is no. Young women have a inherit ability to pull sex partners at a much higher level than any man could ever be capable of unless they were in the top 10% of all men or, in other words, 10s.

Now, all of this being said. Let’s delve into how this dynamic changes with age. First, men and women experience role reversals when it comes to age. Women find their ability to pull men is severely curtailed starting in their late 30s and declines as they pass through their 40s and 50s.

Further, their priorities shift from just having fun and sex to a long-term relationship and children. While men, who have for the most part worked their while lives and perhaps had been married for a substantial portion of their lives upon separation or divorce, are looking for something quite different.

Their lives often ruled by the stress and chaos of maintaining a family are looking for things many men lacked over all that time. Things such as caring, sensuality meaning closeness, touch. Just being near another person and feeling the comfort of them next to you can heal a lifetime of loneliness.

Peace is another trait older men want. After having dealt with decades of constant stress and chaos, this aspect becomes more precious than gold. They opportunity to simply exist with another person, perhaps simply laying your head in her lap, and relaxing is priceless.

Further, men age like liquor or fine wine. As such, their pull goes up substantially amongst younger women who see older men as representing most of what they want. Not all but enough. Stability, protection, maturity, and a generation of women lacking a father figure. The older man represents a daddy they never had, and its a huge pull for men my age.

I have found I pull women effortlessly. Usually younger and of a higher beauty than I did in my youth by not really doing anything. They approach me online. Truthfully, it’s my indifference that they find attractive. I’m not clingy.

Because at my age I don’t need much except what I listed above. I enjoy sex but it’s no longer a all encompassing need. I enjoy it now for the closeness..intimacy of it rather than the act it’s self.

I can say that as an older man, I have seen I have more pull than a porn star. Why? Because I don’t have to do a thing. To have women approach me on a regular basis. So I would posit that with age, the positions reverse, and men gain the ability women possess in their youth to pull partners without effort or stress.

Conclusion: With time, everything changes. The worries of youth give way to the reality of the older person. You gain wisdom and insight. As such, you begin to understand that the purpose of relationships is not for personal gratification or material gain.

It has to do ultimately with inner peace. And, to find that person that can lead you to that goal. Once you understand this, you transend from the mere superficial nature of the interaction with the opposite sex for purely selfish motivation. And progress to the actual purpose of a lasting relationship.

And that is to learn and grow as a human being. This is the ultimate goal of relationships. And the path to peace.