Jealousy:Normal or Controlling?

Are monogamous relationships a natural progression of a couple moving closer to one and other, or is it an unreal expectation? Is possessiveness a natural feeling in such a monogamous relationship?

Jealously is the progression of that possessiveness of one of the partners who had entered into this relationship knowing it is closed beginning to see the other partner flirt or otherwise seek attention from anyone other than their partner?

Is jealously a legitimate emotion given the elicit nature of the straying partner? Is there such a thing as controlling given the nature of the betrayal?

Jealously is framed as controlling, narcissistic, egotistical, and other derogatory descriptions, but are they really? With a host of women looking for long-term relationships. Is it unreasonable that one or both partners become emotionally attached and desire to possess their partner exclusively?

The fact is if you knowingly enter a monogamous relationship, it is implied that both partners are exclusive in their sexual relationship. If one partner acts in such a way, such as to kiss, fondle, or engage in sex then that it is natural for the offended partner to not only feel put out.

Further, such jealousy tends to be warranted under such obvious betrayal. However, is jealousy under normal circumstances necessary? Such feelings tend to lead to conflict and, under extreme circumstances, violence.

Yet, if you are monogamous with your partner, isn’t it reasonable to expect not only possessiveness but expectation and desire to be wanted in such a fashion?

While to those who want the free agency to act as they they choose. To do so negates the whole point of commitment to one partner forsaking all others.

As such, the argument of being controlling is simply a way of saying they don’t take their commitment seriously without just coming out and saying it.

As such, I would argue that if you have chosen to be monogamous then you also accept that if you act in any way that negates such a commitment, then jealously is not only warranted but justified. Because you misled your partner to believe you were theirs and theirs alone.

Conclusion: To enter into a monogamous relationship is to accept all the commitments that come with that contract. Possessiveness is part of that commitment. As such, jealousy is not only expected but warranted if your actions do not match your words and the commitment you agreed to enter into.