Open Marriage: The Deathknell For A Committed Relationship

I have read and listened to countless stories of infidelity and betrayal on YouTube, Reddit, and other platforms.   And what I have witnessed over and over is a recurring theme lack.

Lack of intimacy, of spontaneity, of excitement.   Boredom is probably the number one enemy of long-term relationships.  These cautionary tales seem to point to triggers that lead to the dissolution of their relationships.

The first trigger is a condition called (Empty Nest Syndrome,) which is the result of all the families’ children growing up and moving out of the family home. 

After which, the mothers begin to get restless, believing they deserve rewards for completing their task of raising their children and want to explore life.  This is a key word for extra marital sex.

For some reason, women who are bored decide they are owed sexual exploration after a predetermined time being in a committed, monogamous relationship.  In truth its simply narcissism, arrogance, selfishness, and a complete disrespect of their spouse. 

Ofttimes a man who has singlehandedly worked multiple jobs to care for and provide for her and his children over years or decades faithfully.

This contempt and disrespect has occurred due to familiarity (which breeds contempt)  and from either inattention to her needs physically, mentally, or emotionally. 

Or a lack of leadership, and this weakness leads to his woman believing she can do whatever she wants because she can and that he is too weak to prevent it from occurring.

Another reason is physiological in women reaching menopause which results in a hormonal imbalance and a marked uptick in libido.   This can lead to a woman going outside the marriage seeking multiple sexual partners to satisfy a purely sexual need.

Though it doesn’t always lead to infidelity, most often, it will lead to one or multiple extramarital lovers on the woman’s part.  Cheating becomes institutionalized.

In a number of cases, it ends with the destruction of the marriage at the very least.  And, the husband, in extreme case, exacts brutal revenge on the woman and her extramarital lovers.

While such violent reactions are obviously not the course of action any rational human being should take to resolve such an issue.  In these cases, we aren’t dealing with rational thought. 

Most of these men are striking out physically because of extreme emotional angst caused by perceived disrespect and betrayal. With these men having sacrificed a large portion of their lives for their children and their wives. 

Love can, in these cases, turn to hate and then indifference very rapidly in the face of such blatant overt disrespect of their sacrifices and love.  The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference.   A complete lack of caring is what is born of such betrayal.

Infidelity can take many forms.  Emotional, physical, and even spiritual or mental.  Cheating behind their partners back in any of these is infidelity.

Those emotional and physical are generally deal breakers in that marriage vows are meant to be respected and not up for interpretation.   Forsaking all others is pretty clear.

However, there has become an idea that if you tell your spouse you intend to have extramarital affairs, then it isn’t cheating.  But instead clears the way for such actions to take place guilt free. 

This is complete fiction.  If you just blindside your spouse and tell them you are going to cheat, it clears you of nothing.  Cheating is cheating regardless of whether you announce it or not.

You can’t simply force your spouse to accept such a proposal.   You began the relationship with an understanding that you would both be monogamous and faithful.  You can’t just expect them to suddenly change that midstream. 

It’s not only narcissistic on your part.  It’s also quite selfish, egotistical and disrespectful to a man who in most cases has dedicated a large portion of his life working for your well-being and forsaking all others to keep his vow to you to be faithful.

As such, the concept of (Open Marriage) simply means a license to cheat guilt free.  And, generally marks the end of most monogamous relationships.   If it is even brought up, the man should consider his marriage is either over already.

Over at the very least we’ll on its way with his wife either already in an emotional relationship with someone else.  Or she has already slept with another man and is now seeking a way to comfort a guilty conscious.

Open marriages are licenses for disaster.  They represent a deathknell to any normal marriage.   As such should not be even considered, let alone allowed to take place. 

If you entertain such a notion, just understand that for all tenses and circumstances, your marriage is over.  And rather than drag it out, which will only cause you more pain and suffering.

  A man should just shut down such foolish ideas.  And, state in no uncertain terms it’s either your marriage or the street.  There is no third choice.

Any woman who would bring up such a ludicrous idea is already gone.  You just don’t know it yet.  It is a disrespect, a betrayal, and it is done on purpose and with complete understanding that this is infidelity on the woman’s part. 

She is only telling you to alleviate guilt in her mind for betraying you.  She is well aware it’s disrespectful and, at the same time, selfish enough to not care if she hurts you or not. Your feelings and desires are irrelevant to her. 

As such, a man in this situation must protect himself, his assets, and emotional well-being.   If your wife approaches you with this proposition, you must make her understand that you will not tolerate such disrespect. 

And you will immediately file for divorce.  There can be no other answer to such a betrayal.   9 times out of 10, the wife is only seeking absolution for her own guilt.

Conclusion:  The very concept of open marriage is an anathema to everything a solid marriage stands for.  It is fiction, a sham, and simply a keyword for infidelity.

Such an idea should never be tolerated, entertained, or allowed to continue, that is, if you want to remain happily married.  All the cheating stories point to the same theme.  Once you go outside the marriage for sex, the marriage is over.  Remember, men, you have been warned.