Older Wives and Infidelity

I have been watching a lot of YouTube lately.  There is a lot of infidelity stories involving cheating older women. 

The common themes are that older women as soon as their children leave the home suffer ( Empty Nest Syndrome. )  This being these women decide they are owed some excitement after they have raised children for 20 years.

Generally, as the stories go, most were either virgins when they wed.  Or had limited experience sexually and, as such, feel they missed out on the chance to live a little and deserve to (Find Themselves. )

Most are going through or just starting menopause.   Their hormones are out of sync, and they are driving them to become extremely sexual.  Unfortunately, men of a similar age experience the opposite and slow down sexually.

These women don’t consider that their men spent most of their youth sacrificing everything to support their families.  In many cases, as the sole provided for the families.  As such, they sacrificed a good deal of their lives as well without consideration for their well-being or needs.

These women in these stories just decide either to take (A time out in the marriage to explore themselves).

Or they get a job and find a temporary or in some cases semi-permanent young lover which they tell their spouse it won’t take away from what they have.  And the line usually uttered is its just sex.

They next line generally said it is only a physical thing.  While they love their spouses.   Though the truth is that these women, at  least in the stories, develop an emotional, then physical relationship with their adultery partner.

In a number of these instances, they decide to leave their partners for the new lover.  They had become bored by their spouse and had developed the ( Grass Is Greener Syndrome).

A number end in divorce with the husband’s, in most cases, and takes brutal revenge on the lover who stole their wives.  The pain of losing a life partner is too great, and they go scorched earth.

In quite a few, these men also take brutal revenge on their spouse for hurting them in such a fashion.  I have noticed these men seem to start out as mild-mannered beta males.

Perhaps this is the issue to begin with allowing their women to believe they can say or do whatever they wish with zero consequences. 

This may be why they women lose respect for their men.  And go looking for stronger men to dominate them either sexually or emotionally.

Makes me wonder if it’s an inherent lack of leadership in the husband’s that prompts these women to stray?  In the majority of the stories, this is the recurring theme.

As such, once the husband takes control of the situation.  Then the wayward wife suddenly is heartbroken they lost their marriage over their disrespect of their discarded spouse.

Of course, there are a number of women that just over time fell out of love with their spouses due to the stress of raising children and the mundane existence of it all.  After all, raising children is a stressful experience, and not all are cut out to be parents.

As such, perhaps a number of these women should have rethought their choices before choosing to get married and start families not after.

There are a percentage of these stories that address married couples that are married a number of years, say 7 to 10.  These women decide usually prompted by either single or divorced friends that they should be allowed to have a sexually fling before starting to raise children.

In most of these stories, they sit their husband’s down and tell them they are almost ready to have children.  However, they need to get these out of their systems rather than (cheat).  They are telling their husband they intend to go take a one-time lover or a temporary lover.

And, it will make their marriages stronger.  Once they are finished, they will return to the marriage and will be the most devoted wife they can be for the rest of their lives.  Furthermore, this isn’t cheating because they are telling their husbands.

This is utter rubbish, of course.  They initially agreed to enter a monogamous relationship and to suddenly decide midstream to change that is a worse betrayal than to just cheat to begin with.

No husband wants to share his woman.  Regardless of what anyone says, no man would voluntarily agree to such an arrangement.   This idea they would is a complete misunderstanding of what it means to be a man.

Men are leaders by nature.  Even the weaker ones.  They are wired to protect their families.   And to fight any who would try to take it away from them.   These women are forcing their men to revert to their primal nature. 

This misunderstanding is the basis of the men in these stories going scorched earth not only on the one who tries to take what is his.  But to take vengeance on the woman who betrayed him.

It is better not to marry at all than to make a lifetime commitment only to decide sometime up the road for purely selfish reasons to break that commitment and emotionally hurt the person you love.

To do so proves that perhaps you weren’t in love to begin with and you entered into the marriage under false pretenses.   Perhaps you settled for someone you didn’t love for financial or other considerations.   This is not a reason to enter into a commit you are destined to break.

Conclusion: The idea that cheating isn’t cheating if you tell your spouse first is utter nonsense.  The fact is that the moment you decided for selfish reasons to seek emotional and physical experiences outside your relationship, you already committed infidelity.   The act is just the culmination of that desire.  The thought is the infidelity itself.