Random Love

I have noticed in the last 10 months that there have been many instances of random contacts online over multiple social platforms by apparent lonely women, some single, some widowed, some even divorced all looking for love.

Apparently, they rolled the dice and randomly contacted me, saying they needed either comfort, a long-term relationship, or a trying to get money from me.

Upon speaking to them, some common factors became apparent.   Those widowed were generally in their early thirties.  Most had at least one child.  The majority were out of work living with a family member.  Whether aunt, sibling, or grandparent.

Those divorces were because of infidelity.  They stated their spouse cheated on them and was either indifferent or abusive.  They two had at least one child and were in a similar work situation as the widowed women.

The single women, though a few had children  most, were without children and in their mid to late twenties.  And infidelity seems to be a common thread.

All seem somewhat sincere.  Yet, there must have been a desperation at the heart of randomly contacting a stranger rather than taking their chances with people they know or going to a club, church, or even meeting someone at a store.

All have the same desperation, but some seem to be trying to get money for food or daily expenses rather than to get a job or even apply for social services.  Seems like a lazy person’s solution.

I have interviewed each to find out what could drive a person to simply flip a coin figuratively speaking and just contact a random person to try to find love, and I have a few insights.

One:  These people are at the end of their ropes and feel they have nothing to lose as they either have failed face to face or are stuck with children and feel that this is the only viable way they can achieve their hopes and dreams of finding a person to either love them or at the very least support them financially.

Two: This is a scam , these are not women but male scammers posing as women to try to scam unsuspecting lonely men out of money.

Three:  These are women who have issues whether they can’t find work. Don’t want to work.  Or possibly have drug or alcohol issues and can hold a steady job and, as such, need a man to support their habits.

Four:  These are introverted women who don’t have the ability to go into public and create a lasting connection because of their social anxiety.

Five:  Due to their past choices such as careers IE.  Porn stars, Sex workers, Strippers, or nude models average men might see them in a negative light and not want to start a long term relationship for fear either of a inability to be monogamous or possibly disease.  Or the possibility that others will ridicule them for being associated with such women.

Conclusion: As listed above, there are a number of possibilities why a person would seek out a random lover.  As such, caution is the better part of valor.

And, as in all other decisions in your life, reason, careful vetting, and common sense will help to weed out the problems, and it is possible to build a lasting connection in such an instance. 

However, use caution and verify all the facts on these individuals and never accept them at face value.  Some may be real and genuine.   However, some aren’t.  

Caution and prudence, as well as patience, will separate the chaff from the grain.  And the real from the scammers and criminals and users.

Don’t let your heart overrule your head.