Is It Cheating If You Inform You Partner First?

I have heard a number of Redit stories regarding women who have been in a committed relationship for extended periods of time deciding its ok to cheat on their significant other as long as they tell them first regardless of how their partner responds to their revelation.

I want to address this idea with a few of my own.  First, a committed relationship is just that committed.   Their is no expiration date to monogamy.  

And it ludicrous to believe that after a period of time monogamous they earn a hall pass to stray outside their marriage.

I believe these women, for the most part, have soured on marriage, and this is just a way to end it without just saying as much.

There are no conditions where this action would be accepted or condoned.  Men (most men)  are territorial creatures and react very badly to another man having sex with their spouse.

In fact, the chances of him committing violence is high.  Further, there is a good chance he will retaliate and then divorce the woman in question regardless of the length of the marriage.

In truth, the idea of a hall-pass or taking a break from a monogamous relationship is tantamount to simply disrespecting their spouse and cheating.  Further, it’s done in the worst possible way by telling them they are going to do it.

The idea that noticing your spouse of your intent absolves you of the responsibility of your infidelity is not only ridiculous but is patently false and should be rejected out of hand as a fools errand.

If you wish to experience people outside of your relationship, that is, of course, your right as a free individual.  However, what you don’t have is the right to dictate others’ lives.  This is where you step over the line.

Conclusion:  Entering into a monogamous relationship is not for everyone.  However, once doing so, it is expressly that it will remain monogamous.  

Trying to change the nature of a relationship after the fact is not only disrespectful in the extreme.   It is also not likely to work out due to the fact that when you agreed to enter into the relationship, you agreed to a traditional relationship.

If later you feel you can not honor your commitment to your spouse, then the correct action is to tell them and divorce your partner. 

Rather than trying to force something, your spouse may not want down their throats and expecting them to be happy about it.

Common sense and respect, along with loyalty, are some of the cornerstones of an adult relationship.   Whether you stay in a relationship or leave it.