Open Marriage: The Death Knell for The Monogamous Marriage

Introduction

What happens when the boundaries of marriage begin to blur? As open relationships and consensual non-monogamy gain cultural traction, some argue that they offer a healthy alternative to traditional commitments.

But others believe these shifts signal something far more consequential: the collapse of the monogamous marriage. In this post, we explore the hypothesis that the rise of open marriage doesn’t just diversify romantic possibilities—it fundamentally undermines the very concept of monogamy.

The Hypothesis: Open Marriage Destroys the Monogamous Marriage

The core of this hypothesis is that open marriage and monogamous marriage are not simply coexisting relationship models but competing ideologies.

The normalization of one may directly lead to the deterioration of the other. Here’s how:

1. Erosion of Commitment Norms

Traditional marriage is based on sexual and emotional exclusivity. When society begins to normalize open relationships, this exclusivity is no longer viewed as essential.

The expectation of forsaking all others—once a cornerstone vow—starts to seem arbitrary or even oppressive. The very structure of monogamy becomes destabilized, its rules reframed as negotiable rather than foundational.

2. Instability Through Comparison

Open marriages introduce the idea that no single partner can or should fulfill all needs. This sets up a subtle cultural pressure: if others can explore desire freely while maintaining a “committed” relationship, why shouldn’t you?

Monogamous couples may begin to question whether they are missing out or whether their loyalty is misguided. Such doubts can erode relationship stability and satisfaction.

3. Societal Influence and Imitation

Cultural exposure to open marriage models via social media, podcasts, and mainstream media repositions monogamy as one choice among many.

The more these alternative relationships are championed, the more monogamy risks are being seen as an antiquated or limiting institution. For future generations, this could mean a shift away from monogamy as a default—and possibly a sharp decline in its cultural relevance.

4. Undermining the Role of Jealousy and Boundaries

Jealousy, in traditional monogamous frameworks, is viewed as a natural emotional response and even a protective mechanism.

Open marriages often treat jealousy as a flaw to be overcome, challenging the emotional parameters within which monogamous relationships function.

This difference in emotional philosophy can be jarring, suggesting to monogamous partners that their natural boundaries are a sign of immaturity rather than a legitimate foundation for intimacy.

5. Redefinition of Marital Success

Historically, a successful marriage has been one of enduring fidelity and mutual commitment. In open relationships, success may be measured by personal freedom, individual growth, and fluid boundaries.

These competing definitions can make the monogamous marriage seem restrictive by comparison, especially to younger generations who prioritize self-expression over permanence.

Conclusion

The monogamous marriage has long been seen as the cornerstone of social and familial stability. Its survival hinges on shared cultural values around exclusivity, commitment, and mutual sacrifice.

The emergence of open marriage, while perhaps liberating to some, introduces a philosophical and structural threat to monogamy. By redefining what marriage can look like—expanding it to include multiple partners, fluctuating boundaries, and a reimagining of loyalty—it alters the social contract that has traditionally governed romantic partnership.

Over time, these redefinitions could dilute the cultural strength and aspirational power of the monogamous bond. If marriage means everything, then it arguably means nothing. Thus, open marriage may not just coexist with monogamy; it may be the very force that renders it obsolete.

Further Reading

• “The Case Against the Sexual Revolution” by Louise Perry
• “Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage” by Stephanie Coontz
• “The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating” by Eric Anderson
• “Sex at Dawn” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá (for contrast)
• Psychology Today articles on consensual non-monogamy
• Pew Research Center: Trends in Marriage and Cohabitation
• “What Love Is: And What It Could Be” by Carrie Jenkins

Final Word:

The redefinition of traditional marriage in the wake of open relationships may feel like an evolution in human intimacy, but it comes at a cost. The long-term consequences could include the dissolution of societal trust in permanence, the erosion of family stability, and a culture increasingly ambivalent about commitment.

After the fact, we may find ourselves in a world where traditional marriage is no longer broken—but forgotten. Once redefined, some institutions can not be reclaimed. The question we must ask is not only what we gain by opening marriage, but what we may irreversibly lose.